Couples and Communication

In: English and Literature

Submitted By klyonswhite
Words 552
Pages 3
Karen Lyons

Instructor Kara Brunson

Couples and Communication

September 10, 2012

There are quite a few definitions for the various types of communication. Referencing to our text, (Sole, 2011) communication is described as complex; and that it requires a number of skills and both ongoing learning and practice to improve our skills. The most widely used communication is interpersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging messages, usually between two people, to create and share meaning (Sole, 2011). To be able to function in today’s society; we all have to communicate with each other.
In our text, Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication, I agree and disagree with the concept of communication among couple and strangers. I must say that my sister and her husband are in desperate need of improvement. The miscommunication that they share, since they are always around each other, is that think they know what the other one is thinking or about to say. Let me give you an example of their miscommunication. One day my sister was picking her husband up from work, he asked her to take him off by the barber shop. She thought he was going to get a haircut so instead of her waiting for him to come back out of the barbershop she pulled off. She didn’t know he was right back out, she really thought he was going to get a haircut and left him there. Needless to say he was really upset that she left. Had he just told her to wait he would not have been left at the barbershop.
Now cannot guarantee that this type of miscommunication will not happen again. I can’t say that it won’t happen again between the two of them because they never listen to each other. They always assume what the other one is thinking. What I can say is that it is better is to listen effectively than to always assume what our partners are thinking.…...

Similar Documents

How Couples Communicate

...How Couples Communicate (Resource: Secrets to Lasting Love, by Gary Smalley)Every relationship is a journey ... through five levels of communication … toward the desired destination of intimacy. This requires effort! Intimacy often does not come naturally because men and women are inherently different. Men tend to desire more independence, whereas women more social interaction.There are five levels of communication: | (1) CLICHES - Typical, routine, oft repeated comments, questions and answers given out of habit and with no real forethought or genuine intent. "How are you?" "Fine." "Having a good day?" "Yes."(2) FACTS - Information/Statistics about the weather, the office, friends, the news, personal activities, etc. Requires no in depth thinking or feeling.(3) OPINIONS - Includes concerns, expectations, and personal goals, dreams, and desires. Due to differences of opinion that naturally arise between two people, especially between men and women, this is typically the level at which we run into the "wall of conflict."(4) FEELINGS - Having gone through the "wall of conflict" via applying the communication skills following, you both feel safe to share your deepest emotions.(5) NEEDS - The deepest level of communication and intimacy where you feel completely safe to reveal your unique needs with each other. Truly, unless needs are known and met, a couple will remain "strangers." | Many lacking the skills to make it through the "wall of conflict" revert back to the first two......

Words: 1243 - Pages: 5

Letter to Newly Married Couple on Interpersonal Communication

...Newly Married Couple on Interpersonal Communication Jacovah Ling Joan Golding 08/25/2014 Letter to Newly Married Couple on Interpersonal Communication Dear Dave and Sally, It is with great pleasure that I take this opportunity to share with you some of the critical elements that will be effective in addressing the issue of interpersonal communications in your new relationship. Indeed the value of personal interpersonal communications cannot be undermined because life is all about communication, and the interpersonal perspective is the most important aspect of communication (Gaertner, 2010). Worth noting is that the manner in which you will approach this issue of effective interpersonal communication will to a larger extent determine the ultimate success and outcome of your relationship. Allow me to highlight some of the key elements that will enable the clear understanding of this issue. Dave and Sally, allow me to share with you the actual meaning of interpersonal communication. You may already have heard that communication is the transfer of a shared meaning from the sender to the message recipient, either intentionally or unintentionally. This implies that whenever we give meaning or observe behaviour, the communication process......

Words: 2329 - Pages: 10

Conflict in Couples

...In any relationship where two people are a romantic couple, there will be conflict at some point. There are certain topics that couples usually fight over. These topics change depending on what type of couple it is, how long they've been together. Many studies show that the topics that cause conflict tend to be money, relatives, jobs, dividing household chores, social activities, how each person handles anger, alcohol use, moodiness and children if the couple has any. There's also topics that are unique to relationships that cause conflict. Some conflicts that can increase the odds of divorce in married couples are over sexual infidelity, jealousy, money, no communicating, drinking, and anger. Sexual infidelity is a very powerful topic when it comes to conflicts that can lead to divorce. Homosexual couples and heterosexual couples seem to have a few differences. For instance, homosexual couples are more likely to have conflict over previous lovers and distrust. The conflicts fall into 6 clusters which are social issues, personal flaws, power, distrust, personal distance and intimacy. It's been found that heterosexual couples argue over social issues more than homosexual couples. Lawrence Kurdek, who studied these areas of conflict, also found that in heterosexual couples the man's marital satisfaction sometimes affected how the woman resolve conflicts. More research done about conflict in couples has shown that there's an increase in levels of stress hormones that is......

Words: 376 - Pages: 2

Communication Advice for Newly Engaged Couple, Michael and Cody

...Communication Advice for Newly Engaged Couple, Michael and Cody Carla Smith COM200: Interpersonal Communication January 16, 2012 Communication Advice for Newly Engaged Couple Michael and Cody Dear Michael and Cody, Congratulations on your recent engagement. A marriage is a very special thing shared between two people that truly love each other, and are ready to spend the rest of their lives with that person. I hope you two are ready for a lot of hard work. That may sound scary, but that is what it takes to make a marriage last. If you are not willing to be fully committed to each other, completely dedicated to one another, and ready for the challenges up ahead, then you are not ready to get married. I am writing you to give you some very good advice about communication in relationships. I just finished an interpersonal communication course and I will be referring to my textbook throughout this letter. I hope you take the advice I give you and use it every day. Love is not enough to make a marriage last, and I am not saying love is not important because it is vital to make a relationship happen. I want you to use this as a guide as to what to do and what not to do in any given situation. I may not have all the answers, but I know this will make your relationship stronger and easier to deal with. It is not easy to be married, but if you have good communication skills, and use them with each other, you will be amazed how easy it is to get along...

Words: 2615 - Pages: 11

Angry Couple

...Running head: ANGRY COUPLE 1 Anita Hardon University of Phoenix BSHS/385 February 5, 2015 Professor Rebecca Rabe ANGRY COUPLE 2 The “Angry Couple” video depicts a therapeutic session concerning an angry couple who appears to be having difficulty listening to the concerns each have with the other, their relationship and with their therapist. Before the therapy session begins, Dr. Susan Heitler arranges the room for symmetry and interaction. She then begins the therapeutic session by asking a few intake interview questions to better assist the couple in the counseling process. Examples of the three stages model of interviewing are illustrated below: Exploration Stage Dr. Susan Heitler asked both Richard and Judith to explain exactly what it is that they each want to accomplish during the session. In the taped interview, Dr Susan Heitler (, 1995) asks Richard to turn to Judith and, “try talking and tell her why you are here.” She then asks Judith to ask Richard the same question before asking them both to clarify why they are here. Judith wants Richard to commit to having a family. However, Richard feels the time isn’t right. Dr. Susan Heitler explores the problems and how they’re feeling. She explores any previous treatments they may have had. Judith is upset and doesn’t feel her husband listens and as a result, Judith’s anger escalates. Clarification......

Words: 821 - Pages: 4

Intimacy in Homosexual Couples in Tv

...paper is a research I conducted on the representations of intimacy on gay couples in television, especially in comparison to the intimacy shown in cases of straight couples. I was also interested in understanding how audiences feel about such representations. I decided to focus my research on the TV sitcom Modern Family. To gather and analyze in an appropriate manner, I conducted a content analysis of the show’s episode in terms of intimacy shown whether it was physical, emotional or intellectual. To study the impact of the representations on the audiences, I conducted a mini survey using questionnaires. I expected my findings to be a lot more controversial. In fact, people are not bothered by the depiction of intimacy among gay couples. They think it’s natural when telling a couple’s tale to have moments of intimacy. Thus, they were troubled by the fact that even though Modern Family involves a same-sex family, it almost disregards the natural need for intimacy that characterizes all personal relationships. I came to the conclusion that, even though television seems to have progressed and removed taboos, in reality it is as conservative as ever and most of the LGBT portrayals are just an excuse for diversity. Intimacy in televised portrayals of homosexual couples: Modern Family When watching a movie or a TV show that has any kind of a romantic plot, we naturally expect to see intimacy between the couple. Intimacy is crucial in close relationships. Actually, if there is......

Words: 1708 - Pages: 7

Advice for Newly Engaged Couple

...attended college for about 7 or 8 months, and then the unexpected happened. My sister’s son got burned very badly, and I had the choice of sacrificing my schooling to help her take care of him, or watch her struggle to handle him and her job. As stated in my book, “One path leads to the left, the other to the right. The one you choose will change your life”. (Witt, G. A., & Mossler, R.A. 2010) As you can assume, I chose to drop out because I didn’t want to watch my sister fail when I could help her. I had initially planned on getting back into college, but I never followed thru with it until now. While I was helping nurse him back to good help, I was pregnant with my first child, Taneicy. She was born on July 19, 1985. When she was a couple years old, I became pregnant with my second child, Alicia, who was born on April 13, 1988. After they were born, I worked for a short period of time at a company where they made nets for the military named Teledyne Brown. I eventually had to stop due to my health. While I was working at Teledyne, something on the fabric we were using, called formaldehyde was slowly damaging my health. It got to a point where I started to have epileptic seizures and had to take numerous medications. I realized that this wasn’t the best thing for me so I quit working there and started my life in a different direction. Since then, I have had numerous amounts of personal goals. The main and most recent goal is to work towards establishing myself in a......

Words: 1649 - Pages: 7

Emotionally Focused Couples Paper

...Emotionally Focused Couples Paper BSHS/385 July 13, 2015 * Emotional focused therapy has been used as a emotion focused base with individuals, couples, or their families. This type of therapy is a short term session that usually last from 10-30 minutes that provides three states: exploration, clarification, and action stages. This type of emotional therapy is used so that emotions in the human body activated and help the client realize and change problematic emotional levels or self experiences that are not wanted. The therapist looks for the couples interactions, reflects process, finds patens in the relations, emotional signals, and helps expand those signals. The primary goal of this emotional focused therapy is to arouse the emotional awareness and be at a lived experience of a fear, shame, etc, in order to transform it. In this paper will be about a video named Emotional Focused Couples Therapy by Susan Johnson, who has a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology and developer of emotional focus therapy. She will be interviewing a couple who has been married for a year, she has three children but he doesn’t. They met at a church and the wife has had many traumas in her life. We will discuss the Nonverbal and verbal skills of counselor; did certain questions or comments create a change in nonverbal or verbal actions for the clients; what open- and closed-ended questions did the counselor use; what techniques did the counselor use to paraphrase and summarize the......

Words: 1483 - Pages: 6

Causes of Couples Will Divorce

...Marriage is not easy. Unfortunately, even couples with the best intentions can end up in divorce court. There are a number of reasons people get divorced; the following are ten of the most common. Top 10 Reasons Couples DivorceExtramarital AffairsAccording to a report published by AARP, infidelity still plays a significant role in why people file for divorce. However, usually there is an underlying reason that causes a spouse to cheat including anger, resentment, having varied interests, growing apart, or unequal sexual appetites. Weight GainSurprisingly enough, "forever after" often comes with the caveat "as long as you maintain your figure." According to a survey reported by Men's Health, one spouse gaining substantial amounts of weight can be a damper on marital bliss. Once your spouse is no longer turned on or attracted to your body, issues dealing with rejection and resentment can quickly become marriage-threatening issues. MoneyThe American Journal of Sociology recently published a study that found a husband's unemployment can be a key factor behind divorce. In fact, lack of moneycan often cause marital problems to flare into a divorce filing. A married couple facing financial difficulties is often under a lot of stress, which in turn can lead to constant arguing and lack of communications. Couples who don't see eye to eye on spending habits or that are in relationships where one spouse has and controls the finances, often face marital strain that culminates......

Words: 828 - Pages: 4

Couples Strengths and Weaknesses

...Cindy Abstract Martial disagreement is typical within marriages. All couples have a difference of opinions in situations in their lives together. Marital conflict is not a matter of a difference in opinions. Marital conflict stems from a development of unfortunate series of circumstances that have caused a rift in the unity of the partnership of the marriage. The source of marital conflict consists of issues that have boiled up to the point of a severe lack of communication. When married couples stop communicating with each other, they grow farther apart in their marriage. If married couples have the opportunity to identify the causes of marital discord, they will develop healthier ways to resolve the complex issues within their marriage. In general, all couples have dealt with issues with finance, parenting, and domestic duties. This case study analysis will discuss the facilitator’s report of the relationship dynamics of a conflicted couple, Steve and Cindy. This analysis will focus on the identification of key strengths and weaknesses between the couple, how the couple’s personalities might be influencing their situation, and developing a strategy to counsel and support the couple. This analysis will highlight conflict resolution skills that the couple may be able to employ as a way to build upon their foundation within their marriage. Case Study 2: Steve and Cindy Introduction When a couple enters marital counseling, they are seeking to identify......

Words: 2607 - Pages: 11

Interracial Couples and Their Struggles

...Interracial Couples and Their Struggles LaKeisha Straka-Conway JUAD/SOCI 3320 [pic] The United States has observed an amount of social and cultural desegregation between races, specifically Blacks and Caucasians. Despite decades of desegregation, cultural and social differences still exists. These differences are present in the institution of marriage. Americans have and are slowly evolving away from segregation. In the past forty years a multitude of changes have transformed schools, jobs, voting booths, neighborhoods, hotels, restaurants and even the wedding altar, facilitating tolerance for racial diversity ( Norman 108 ). Since the 1960's, when the housing discrimination was outlawed, many Blacks moved into mainly Caucasian neighborhoods. The steadily growing areas in the west and south-west are least segregated, because these areas never had the entrenched Black and Caucasian sections of town (Randolph 154). Even more visible signs of desegregation can be seen in the areas of education. A study done by the University of Michigan shows that integration on campuses occurs on a regular basis. The racial lines are crossed routinely; about 50% of Blacks and 15% of Caucasians reportedly study together. Eating patterns also share the same similarities. At a social level there has been a steady convergence of opinion on a variety of racial issues. Since 1972, surveys have asked whether the respondent would favor a law making......

Words: 2106 - Pages: 9

Couple Lies by

...encouraging result. Adair Lara’s Couple lie shows readers white lies in marriage. She states “This is marital lying. It’s not a white lie, meant to spare your feelings. It’s a pink lie, a couple lie.” In her opinion white lies and couple lies are different, couple lies are acceptable. The author and many people see white lies and couple lies as a way to get through life, but are the results always positive? Couple Lies and White lies may seem innocent and harmless but can potentially cause problems in relationships and friendships. Usually white lies and couple lies aren’t intentional. They are just told at a moment in time when you find yourself in a situation where you may feel as if the truth is harmful, or at least the complete truth. Other times you are uncomfortable answering the question that is asked and rather avoid a problem. Sometimes we fear that the truth may hurt someone’s feelings therefore we use a white lie or couple lie to save face. We lie to those questions like “how do I look?” or “how does the food taste?” You would rather boost someone’s ego rather than be responsible for lowering their self-esteem. We feel that if we bring someone happiness it is a win-win situation. This ideology seems quite simple and fool proof which is why people choose to tell little white and couple lies in life. When you really think about it, white lies are told out of one’s selfishness. No one stops to think what the outcome of these white lies and couple lies might be and......

Words: 697 - Pages: 3

Married Couple?

...Should Couples Live Together Before Married? As I grew up in my mother house it was instilled in me that you should never live with a man unless you’re married and since that was strongly installed in me that is what I live by I didn’t have the chance to live together with my husband while we were dating. It was difficult during our first year of marriage. We argued a lot, mostly for reasons like leaving clothes on the floor in the bathroom and not cleaning up after his self. Living together before making our vows would have reassured us about the lifelong commitment and basically letting us see what we were getting are self into. From my own experience, I believe that couples should live together before getting married, so they can start to know each other on a closer, more personal level and also see how compatible they are with each other. When you live together with your partner you start to know each other on a closer more personal level. For starters you learn what your partner likes and dislikes, I think there’s a lot to find out about your partner and from your partner; and I think the only way to do this is move in together. For example I didn’t know my husband liked to watch porno videos or sleep with the house freezing cold! Believe it or not, its little details like these that can often make or break a relationship. Second, you learn what kind of bad habits you and your partner have and whether or not you can get rid of them or live with all the bad habits.......

Words: 931 - Pages: 4

Childless Couples

...In today’s society it is not uncommon for many couples to be childless. Time has changed, and young couples have different views on family. Several reasons cause the increase in childless couples; some of the reasons may be that couples are getting married at a later age. Careers have become very important in in male and female lives. Some couples are choosing not to have any children at all. Time has changed; many couples do not have the desire to raise a family. Never the less couples are building strong homes. A childless couple does not mean less happiness. Many couples do not feel ready to become parents. Couples are getting married at a later age and see themselves a little old to raise a family. Couples who marry at a young age do not see the need to have children right away. Age has played a big part in why couples are childless. The increase of childless couples could be age. Many couples are focusing on other aspects of their lives allowing no room for children. With couples getting married later in life, it is harder for them, health-wise to have children. Couples are settling down at a later age therefore their “biological clocks” have ticked away. Couples in today society are more focused on building an empire rather than a family. There is a lot of focus on furthering one’s education and becoming a professional; couples may forget to have children. Careers are very important to some couples, and adding a child to their lives would mean putting their career on......

Words: 386 - Pages: 2

Marriage and Same-Sex Couples

...Marriage and Same-Sex Couples One of the leading political debates in our country today is the legalization of same-sex marriages. The very image of marriage is evolving on an on-going basis due to society and the major changes between society defined unions. In 2003 Webster’s Dictionary changed the definition of marriage to include same-sex marriage. Marriage, as per society, is a special event in almost everyone’s life. Marriage should be about getting married to someone you love. Marriage should be a natural event no matter what sex that person is. It is not just a piece of paper that binds you together; it also involves legal aspects, economic and social issues as well. The focus of this paper will be on these issues and how they are intertwined. When society first started discussing this issue they were set on the fact that it would destroy heterosexual marriage and that it would bring harm to everyone. It has been discussed on every major television program and/or channel. Almost everyone has an opinion on the subject but most will not support it with hard facts. According to revised estimates from the 2010 Census, there were 131,729 same-sex married couple households and 514,735 same-sex unmarried partner households in the United States. In the 2000 Census there were 594,391 households headed by same-sex partners and in 2011. Maggie Gallagher, co-author of “The Case for Marriage,” testified in front of the Senate that gay marriage activists are......

Words: 1962 - Pages: 8