How to Get Fierd

In: Other Topics

Submitted By harrydale
Words 798
Pages 4
There are many different reasons why someone could get fired, but they all share a common process. Personally, I have never been fired, and I have no intention to do so in the near future. Through my experiences working, I have encountered several employees who were far from deserving of a job. The majority of these unworthy workers have had a common goal, which was to get fired. You too can get fired and keep the Welfare System working in your favor! These employees have taught me that there is a strategic process to getting fired, which can sometimes have very few steps. The first step in getting fired is to arrive to work late. There are to be no exceptions to this rule. You are expected to be late even on your orientation day. As a general rule, the later you are, the more pleased your employer will be with you, and the greater chance you have of having your employed status revoked. If possible, try to think of a witty excuse for your tardiness, such as “I was at my probation officer’s office,” or “You didn’t tell me I was supposed to come in today. Thankfully, I looked at the schedule. If I hadn’t, you just would have had to go on without me.” After arriving late to work, the second step is to stay off task as much as possible. Completely disregard any orders from your manager or supervisor. If there is a phone accessible, it is highly recommended that you use it for as many unnecessary, personal phone calls as possible. If a customer tries to divert your attention from your private phone call, be sure to tell him or her that you are extremely busy, and continue talking on the phone. Surely, they will understand and if you impress them enough, they might even talk to your manager and let them know what a great job you are doing. Other suggested activities which are certain to boost your approval rating are inviting your friends to your place of business…...

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